The bra fitter with the wrestling moves

Less than eight weeks until the big day I left OH putting Isabella to bed and zipped up the motorway to our closest late night shopping centre.

I needed some new makeup so had the notion I could wander childless around the counters and try lots of products before purchasing something that would transform me into a ethereal vision of bridal loveliness.

First off I hit the MAC counter where the lady told me that they don't do their makeup trials after 7pm despite them having two staff and only me browsing. Asking about blushers was enlightening as the assistant proceeded to tell me the names of different shades and rub them onto my hand.

I decided Clarins might be more helpful and a friendly orange assistant duly sat me down and tried various shades of foundation on me as I couldn't remember my usual colour She complimented me on my beautiful skin then proceeded to conceal all evidence of this under an inch of rust coloured mousse. Startled to see I had sprouted a ginger lady 'tache I thanked her profusely and moved swiftly on.

Still not defeated despite looking like the love child of Chris Evans and Donatella Versace I decided third time lucky and slunk off to Bare Minerals. The super friendly assistant took pity on my tangerine hue, tissued off the worst streaks and sold me a lovely blusher.

Feeling particularly sadistic I headed off to lingerie to get my wedding undies. Explaining to the assistant my needs (smooth lines under dress, balconette or plunge style, nude coloured) she proceeded to hoist me into several bras. Yes gone are the days of the assistant slipping discreetly out of the changing room while you try the bra on then coming in to check, this dedicated assistant advised me to lean forwards, drop my boobs into the bra and she fastened the back up. To the casual observer this tiny framed woman could have been mistaken for giving me the Heimlich manoeuvre but to her credit she was very, very good at her job and found me a miraculous bra that was strapless yet uplifting with the added bonus of being seam free.

If any larger busted ladies are in the market for a strapless bra I would wholeheartedly recommend the Wonderbra Ultimate Strapless (A-F cup) as being a cleavage enhancing thing of beauty but whatever you do steer clear of the orange Clarins lady...

Wordless Wednesday - Bobby Dazzler

A Lax Wedding

After an eight year courtship the Boy and I have finally decided to get hitched. No romantic proposals, just him realising that he is the luckiest man on earth to have me and asking me to 'sort it all out, youth'

In true lax style I phoned and booked the service and reception the following day for nine weeks time, popped to the shops and bought a dress off the peg and broke the news to our surprised families.

While delighted they were all a tad shocked mostly because we never bothered to get engaged. I'm now fielding phonecalls from various family members who are convinced I'm pregnant again. I'm not and if I were I wouldn't be tying the knot as it would mean forfeiting my beloved Havana Club Anejo Especial at the reception.

Isabella is insistant she is wearing her Disney princess dress as flowergirl so I may have to hide/burn that in advance.

Did anyone else have a short engagement? I'm so laidback I haven't chosen my ring yet, but have sorted the important details like the hen night! Would love to see some photos of people's weddings especially bouquets as I haven't a clue what I want.

The Cute Factor - Favourite Photo Meme

I have been tagged by Imsomniac Mummy to post my favourite photo.

Mummyhood does bring a lot of cute contenders but this one is over three years old now and still turns me to mush.

So without further ado:

The expression on her face gets me every time.

Out of the mouths of babes

My favourite and most unexpected part of parenting is how funny kids are. Isabella makes me laugh, she's honest and doesn't sugar the pill. Here's some of her latest observations:

That lady has got big teeth (at bus stop)
That Mister looks like Mr Potato Head (he did)
My little legs are tired, I need a Fruitella to give me energy (walking in fields very reluctantly)
I've run out, maybe you should get me a little drink while I look for some (refusing Daddy kisses)
Hello Fwends, I'm here (her standard greeting at nursery)
Don't forget your seatbelt Mummy or you'll fall out the car (possible slur on my driving skills)
I've made a little mess but don't worry you can clean it up (jigsaw factory explosion in her bedroom)
Thank you for having me (everywhere we go, makes librarian chuckle)
I can't weewee in there, it's all blue, I only like pink (objecting at my Gran's loo-bloo)

And my all time favourite

Mummy that little boy has just come in his pants (commenting on Mowgli's lack of trousers in Jungle Book)

Child safety equipment puts kids at risk

As new parents we've done the usual childproofing. For us this involved stairgates, socket covers and unplugging the electric fire at the mains.

Today at work I received an email from one of our partner agencies giving the link to this website which states that the socket covers are not only unnecessary but also potentially a safety hazard.

They point out that UK plug sockets have safety shutters built in so children can't poke their fingers in but use of the socket covers opens this safety mechanism potentially creating more danger. They are campaigning to raise awareness of this. This UK Government website (scroll down page) also states that socket covers aren't regulated for safety.

This is the first I've ever heard of these being dodgy! Having done some reading I feel happy that we can stop using ours but is this news to you and will you be binning yours?

The best Porridge Biscuits - Easy peasy recipe

My favourite biscuits ever, recipe credits must go to my lovely Gran.

8oz Marg (I use Stork)

8oz Caster sugar

2 Tablespoons Golden Syrup

2 Level teaspoons hot water

2 Level teaspoons bicarb of soda

8oz Self raising flour

8oz Porridge oats

Method:

Melt marg, sugar and syrup in a pan over a low heat.

Mix hot water and bicarb in a cup, add to pan and it should go all frothy. Take off heat, add oats and flour and mix well.

Roll mixture into little balls, pop onto a baking sheet or stone, flatten slightly and bake for approx 10 mins at 180 until golden brown. Cool on a rack, coat in melted chocolate if you wish and eat.

Makes about 16.

A Meme for Me

My number one tour guide/cook/chauffeur/drinking partner Very Bored Housewife has tagged me in my very first meme. Homework already!

2009 was a fantastic year for us, we spent loads of time with friends and family having good old fashioned fun. Isabella had a year of milestones by shunning nappies, dummies, highchair, cot and pushchair and I've really enjoyed seeing her personality develop as she becomes a little girl. OH worked an obscene amount of hours as ever but we still had lots of good times.

Quite frankly my friends and family are ace and here's hoping 2010 is even better.

So my Highlights of 2009:


1. Returning to work: After stretching Maternity leave out for over two and a half years I was ready to return to a desk. Any desk would have done and Isabella was desparate to go to nursery in a "pleasemummyIweallywanttoplaywiththeotherboysandgirls" way. Seeing her develop friendships independantly of me has been a real eye opener, she has a 'best fwend' and they shreik with delight when they spot each other at school. Part-time working is much easier than I'd imagined and our work/nursery/grandparents routine is a winner with all involved parties.

2. Becoming an Auntie twice. Sort of. SIL had her first baby, making me an official Auntie and my bestest pal also had her first sproglet sending the cuteness fator off the radar!

3. A summer of holidaying with friends and their collective offspring. We invaded Sherwood Forest Center Parcs in May (4 mummies, 5 kids and a fair few chicken pox), made Very Bored Housewife's apartment look like it had been ramraided in July (4 toddlers in one bedroom is sadistic) and hit Brighton in August with a gorgeous friend, her newborn and toddler and made a fair few trips visiting friends dotted around England for fun and frolics.

4. Isabella's 3rd Birthday party: We decked out the village hall in streamers, bought lots of balloons, baked a cake and invited all her 'fwends'. The children were suspiciously well behaved (I am still reeling from the shock) many cakes were munched, carrot sticks avoided and I was incredibly touched that out of 24 children invited (some scattered across the country, living a good few hours away) only one didn't make it due to a prearranged date with Peppa Pig Live.


5. Getting some grass. Really. After 3.5 years of having a muddy field out back OH finally finished the middle bit of our garden and laid some turf. Result. Blessed with a long, hot summer Isabella spent many happy days splashing about in water and digging up my plants. Evenings were ace, we would sit boozing on the decking once the little one was asleep and our neighbour would walk across and wobble home.


So that's me done, hope VBH gives me top marks.

Long walks for little legs

I'm so proud of my girl today. With nursery and my work closed, we went for a walk around the village in the thick snow with our neighbour and the dog. Isabella walked all the way! 2.1 miles all through snowy fields and paths which is a long way for little legs, usually Daddy has to carry her a fair part of the journey. She was heavily bribed with fruitellas at the end mind.

It started snowing again while we were out, as soon as OH gets home from work I am escaping back into it with the mutt. At night the fields are magical, last night it was beyond pretty with all the hedges and trees covered in snow and fluffy white fields, I need to make the most of it before it turns to wet slush!